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Daily Inspiration

rencontre roux Your love stood down death
Crushed the devil’s head
Fear is just a liar
Running out of breath
The fight beneath Your feet
I’m standing on Jesus’ Name
So let the devil know not today
Let the devil know not today No no
Not now not ever again Jesus
Let the devil know not today, not today, not today!!

BRING IT!!!!Hillsong UNITED Official Lyric Video for Not Today off the album Wonder. iTunes: http://untd.me/wonder Apple Music: http://untd.me/wonder.ap Spotify: http://...
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view These past few months I’ve been hit with torrential downpour after torrential downpour personally and professionally. Am I crazy to stand in the face of the storm and scream “BRING IT ON”?!

Just when I think it can’t get much worse, it gets much, much worse. As “it” gets much worse I am more weirdly empowered! I think to myself, “WOW what a tremendous effort it takes to try to take me down”...You see I am empowered by the truth and the truth shall set you free, free indeed!” There is no weapon that is formed against me that shall prosper!

So on this Friday night I could focus on the many “things” that are stacked against me or I could focus on the the truth that I can stand in confidence of. The battle is not mine says the Lord!

I pray that those that read this would stand up, put your head up and scream to your challenge, “BRING IT ON”! Do not cower to your circumstances but embrace them as an opportunity to show the immense strength within you that you might be unaware of!

I am thankful for the torrential downpours, they have given me the opportunity to exercise and exhibit my powerful strength! Without those downpours I wouldn’t know what I am capable of....the Woman that I am! Hear me roar!!!!
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Get the facts I vow to never let one single drop of ink spoil my whole being. One person will not taint my belief in the call that has been placed on my life, taint who I am at the core or taint in my belief of true love. One person doesn’t get to spoil it for me or for all those to receive. I am more than the ink that is blotted all over me. I am the canvas! ... See MoreSee Less

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From day one of being a mental health counselor I’ve practiced “putting on” the feeling my client is going through in hopes of showing true understanding and empathy. I try to see each of my client’s perspectives in an effort to truly understand their pain. Johnny Depp does this same act when evolving into the character of Captain Jack Sparrow. He does this to such a degree that his family gets so tired of him being Jack Sparrow they beg for Johnny Depp to resurface.

In one case I had I allowed myself to “become” a Mom of a child who was killed in a tragic accident (pulling on the Mom in me of the exact same age of child). I went to the child’s home, looked at the pictures on the wall, went into the child’s room and just sat, trying to envision how he would play....he had the same toys as my son I might add but he’d never play with them again. It was through this exercise I gained the gut wrenching clarity of a tiny piece of the loss this whole family was experiencing. I believe this approach allowed me the opportunity to have empathy and offer each and every family member hope, healing and restoration on a much deeper level. Even years later I’m still in contact with these wonderful people that allowed me into their pain vulnerably.

Here’s my predicament. Try as I might, even with a Master’s in Forensic Psychology, I cannot find a place of commonality in my heart to understand a person whose goal in life is to annihilate the very person they vowed to love. Hurt people, hurt people right?! Not necessarily so. Some would call these people Narcissists. I’ve come to believe there are motivating factors for a human to hurt another beyond the excuse of their past hurts. These factors far exceed an average person’s, such as myself, ability to understand with empathy their dehumanizing actions. I so desperately want to empathize with this narcissistic personality to derail their motivation to hurt others. But I can’t. Why can I not “go” there? Is it because this type of person has stepped out of the human realm into evil?

Let me clarify. I work with most Narcissists well but there’s a certain % this applies to.
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A beautiful and sweet client sent me this today. So encouraging for us all! 😉❤️ ... See MoreSee Less

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A sincere wish of Happy Thanksgiving from me to you! Almost daily I am grateful for my “job” and the wonderful people that let me be a part of their toughest journeys in life. My heart is full! ... See MoreSee Less

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I often write about narcissism, emotional abuse and how to recover from both. A person who has endured these behaviors can become jaded, guarded and fearful believing true love doesn’t exist. They accept that a true and intimate connection with another is scarce at best and they give up on the thought that meaningful relationships exist. I have found that if a few key components are present then this rare relationship can happen.

It is not often I get to work with, I can count on two hands, a couple with the the potential for the highest, most intensely satisfying connection I believe two human beings can have.

In the movie Avatar there is a scene where two Avatars look at each other piercingly in the eyes and one says to the other “I see you”. It is in that moment that time stands still, an electrifying energy flows through them and the highest form of intimacy takes place. Neither of them care about their own perception of life, their rights, justification of emotions but instead they focus solely on the other’s experience. A genuine burning desire to understand and feel the other person’s reality becomes their single priority. Not only do they want to understand the other’s experience, they find pleasure in understanding it.

“I see you” begins with eye contact. The first thing to go out the window during communication is having eye contact. In session while counseling couples I have to constantly direct them to look at each other. If they look at each other they become vulnerable to the other. There is a fear that if they have eye contact then the other may “see them”, they may see their vulnerability.

It is a precious gift to offer yourself vulnerably to another by letting them “see you” by looking into your eyes and you into theirs. It is through looking into each other’s eyes you will afford an opportunity of “I see you”, where you can have a rare, awe inspiring and sensual experience. It is where you and your Lover will skate on the thin ice of falling into a true and deep but rare connection that few experience, true love.
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“Caged Bird”
BY MAYA ANGELOU

A free bird leaps
on the back of the wind
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wing
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn
and he names the sky his own

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
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In my private practice I get asked often what a victim should do in response to their narcissistic perpetrator. Throughout my 17 years of being a counselor I’ve boiled it down to one act that is the most powerful to do, have “no contact”! ... See MoreSee Less

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Daily I hear how people have “trust issues”. Whether you’ve been lied to, cheated on, gaslighted, raised by mistrustful parents, we all can only learn to trust again by....trusting.

I have a client who looked into her husband’s eyes and said, “I’m going to abandon all fear and fall off an emotional cliff backwards trusting that your arms will catch me”. Unfortunately, a month after she abandoned all fear he walked out of her life forever with her best friend. If anyone should have trust issues about trust issues it would be her.

I fully expected her to never open her heart back up again and that it would become as hard as titanium. Not merely a month after her husband’s devastating departure she realized her only mistake was trusting the wrong person and not listening to her instincts or that of her loved ones. She realized her first clue that this was not a person worthy of her trust should’ve been when she had to talk herself into jumping off of a cliff. How ridiculous does that sound?

You need to be able to trust yourself first before you can recognize a trustworthy person. It is from a place of emotional wellness that you are able to recognize when it is safe to trust. My client was willing to sacrifice her life to prove to her husband and herself she could trust him. She has since learned that she should never give that power over to another person. Instead she is working on answering for herself why she was willing to take that plunge off of the cliff. You see it wasn’t an issue of trust that sent her over the edge but a lack of security and trust in herself.
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